Like Game of Thrones, but real. And Lutheran.

The 155th Annual Lutheran Kicking of Balls

What You Need To Know

The ALKOB is an ancient annual Lutheran kickball game we accidentally inherited (details below). The game is happening on Sunday, August 19th, 2018 after church at a field nearby you (Hancock Recreation Center). Bring a picnic dinner and your friends/family/neighbors. We’d love for you to join us.  Sign up for your team today!

A Pretty Much True Story

How We Inherited ALKOB

In the Fall of 2016, some of us House of Mercy people were down in Chicago for a Lutheran conference and something a little strange happened. None of us really quite remember how, but late one evening, we found ourselves in a dark chamber lit by torches, surrounded by old men in robes. They were speaking in Old German to us. At some point we were presented with an ancient book, which—again, fuzzy—somehow was half-destroyed by fire.

From what we can make out, we accidentally inherited an ancient Lutheran ritual: the Annual Lutheran Kicking of Balls, which has been happening since 1863.

It will happen on August 19, at a field nearby after church. There will be food and fun and rituals and participants are invited to join the team that they feel the most affinity to. At the end of the game, we have to inscribe the book with the winner and send it back to Germany.

After that, we’re not sure what happens.

See you on ball field

More details:
– Anyone can play
Kids, grandmas, neighbors—anyone. No dogs.

– 3 Blocks, After Church
We’re playing at Hancock Rec Center Field, which is just north from the Mirror of Korea and west of Hamline University. There are indoor bathrooms, a jungle gym for kiddos, and a great field for kickballing.

– BYOP
Bring your own picnic and chairs or a blanket for which to sit upon. Small set of bleachers are behind the backstop for authentic sports cheering.

– Ancient Lutheran Rituals
The Ancient German Officials have found it difficult to travel here this year, due to various travel bans and budgetary issues. Google translate can only help so much with the language barriers. We must play, that much is clear. See our story below.

– What to wear
If you didn’t get a team jersey last year, no worries! If there’s a team you want to play on (or cheer for) and still want to look the part, team color palettes are below! Pull out the wolf-howling-on-a-mountain-at-the-moon shirt (we know you have one) and play for John the Baptist. Or bring your stuffed crow from those days when wizards were cool and play for Ruth. Or maybe go for an OT prophet look, you know, as Jonah heading to Ninevah as you round the bases?

– Kickball Rules
Some rules will be followed, some will not. Kid friendly. Three innings per game. Total of 3 games. We will be done by 8pm.

Sign up for your team today!

THE TEAMS

They say that those in the East team rise early. This is because they love to see the world stir awake in the cool morning, to see the bright green stalk of a plant, to return to their homes with dirt under their fingernails. The East team is one of noble fertility and humble labor—which is why their patron saint is Ruth, the one gathering wheat in the field.

The South team loves the hot sun on their faces, the bustle and heat of a celebration, the roar of a crowd. They are a team of transformation—fierce, passionate, even dangerous, some say. Some say that they have looked death in the eyes and looked past it with nonchalance—which is why their patron saint is Mary Magdalene, the one who witnessed two resurrections.

If you watch a sunset explode across the sky and find yourself contemplating the coming darkness, you may be a member of the West team. The West are a liminal people—restless, brooding, dark. Many report that they dream of beams of sunlight filtering down through water, dark shapes moving beneath them—just like their patron saint, Jonah, the one tossed overboard in a storm.

When you think of the North team, picture a lone wolf standing atop a snowy cliff face, head upturned to howl at a bright moon. They are those that take on the solemn charge: silence over noise, darkness over light, the open wild over the bustle of a city—which is why their patron saint is John the Baptist, the one calling from the wilderness.